Rex M Rogers - Discerning What Is Best

Discerning What Is Best
With Dr Rex Rogers

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Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 01 January 2011

I enjoy making a few New Year's resolutions, though in 34 years in higher education I tended to set more goals at the beginning of academic years in the late summer. But resolutions or new goals either one are a good thing, I think, because they’re forward looking.

New Year’s resolutions, like the New Year in general, are a sign one is hopeful and open to a future different from the present. You know, “Hope springs eternal.”

A year ago in January I wrote about New Year’s resolutions. It’s interesting to later read what one has written to see if it’s stood the test of time, or to see if you even still agree with yourself.

In any event, Happy New Year, and may your resolutions be good ones soon realized in 2011.

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Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 31 December 2010

New Year’s Resolutions are fun if not always fruitful. Here are a few resolutions better left unmade:

--I resolve to eat with wild abandon.

--I plan to pay more taxes cheerfully.

--I’ll watch every episode of each new “reality” TV program in 2011.

--I’ll invest all my savings with Bernie Madoff.

--I hereby give up Starbucks in favor of McDonald’s coffee.

--I resolve to fund my retirement plan buying lottery tickets.

--I’ll hold my breath until Conan O’Brien is actually funny.

--I’ll ask Lindsay Lohan for advice.

--I will send money to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and MoveOn.org.

--I’ll read every “Teen Paranormal Romance” book in Barnes and Noble.

--I resolve to enroll in the Charlie Sheen school-for-how-to-live-responsibly.

--I’m going to write books about Amish celebrities.

--I’ll support ethanol subsidies.

--I resolve to believe everything Tiger Woods says.

--I’ll watch more bowling on TV.

--I resolve to eat more sugar, salt, and flour.

--I will join the ranks of those who never exercise.

--I expect to visit all the world’s toxic waste dumps.

--I will listen to all of Vice President Joe Biden’s speeches in one marathon weekend.

--I’ll believe in the Detroit Lions.

--I resolve to keep making resolutions.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 30 December 2010

Sarah and I have remarked for years how few people seem to invite others, or at least us, into their homes. But I don’t think it’s just us because I’ve heard others make the same lament. I’m not sure if this is something characteristic of West Michigan or whether it’s a lost art in the 21^st Century American culture.

In 17 years of university leadership we were invited to someone’s home only on rare occasions. There were, of course, notable exceptions. In particular I’m thinking of three families who invited us to share their home and hospitality many times. They were friendly and became friends, and we value their friendship to this day. But this was by far not the norm.

I recognize that as President I was considered the “Boss,” and social dynamics got in the way of staff members relating to me in any other way, no matter the setting. Personnel in most organizations do not typically invite their boss to their home. So I get that. But I don’t get others for whom this dynamic never existed.

As I said, I don't know if this phenomenon is unique to our region or a lost art nationally. Drawing on other experience I’d guess it’s both, meaning I believe West Michigan has an extra dose of it and that it’s a national trend too. But I also know certain areas of the country, the South for example, are characterized by more open attitudes about inviting people to one’s home.

In the Middle East, inviting people to one’s home is the height of hospitality. When first introduced, Middle Easterners would rather invite you to their home than be invited to yours. By going to their home you show them honor and respect and they, in turn, become better acquainted with you. In the States we don’t seem to do either as much as I remember from my youth.

In Proverbs 18:24 Solomon said, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly,” (KJV). It seems to me that inviting someone to your home is an incredible way to express openness and genuine friendliness. If I invite you and you come to my home you learn more about me because you see me in my natural habitat. The same is true in reverse.

Perhaps this is why people don’t invite others to their homes as much as people used to do. They don’t want others to learn about them. We’ve isolated ourselves in our cocoons and don’t want to be bothered or known.

It’s a free country, I know, so if people choose not to invite others into their home there isn’t much I can say about it. Except that I think they lose an opportunity for friendship, fellowship, connectedness, and community. They lose a chance to know and be known, which is a part of being human.

Inviting people into your home is a blessing that flows in both directions—to your guests and back again to you.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 29 December 2010

If you think this is morbid, read no more. If you’re a dreamer or a planner, read on.

Warner Brothers Pictures’ 2007 film, “The Bucket List,” starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, surprised movie moguls and a lot of other people. High hopes cast it as a feel-good, maybe low profit film. Yet it was considered DOA by some film critics—and we all know how inerrant they are. But in the end the film grossed over $174 million worldwide.

The movie featured two older men facing terminal illnesses, who, rather than lie around and wait for the end, created a wish list of things to do before they “kicked the bucket.” Than they flew around the world visiting sites and checking off each item on their “Bucket List.” Humor played a role in the film’s success, and two old hands at movie-making didn’t hurt, but it was the story and message that put the film over the top.

Audiences loved it, at least older members of audiences. Some of my 20-something and 30-something kids and their spouses or friends watched it. They pretty much thought it was “dumb.” But my wife and I thought it was interesting, thought-provoking, poignant, and not-dumb.

It’s called age or time or maturity, I think. Something like that. We liked the film because we’re old enough it made sense to us. So if you’re over 50 I’d say “Watch it; you’ll like it.”

The film introduced "Bucket List" into the cultural lexicon and people began making their list for fun, fantasy, or forming plans. It’s an interesting exercise that reveals something about the bucket-lister. That’s why it’s an enjoyable family or group exercise. You discover things about the people beside you that you didn’t know.

My Bucket List is a work-in-progress. In no particular order, here’s the current list:

--Hike Yellowstone National Park for about two weeks with Sarah.

--Play a round of golf at St. Andrews in Scotland with Sarah and son Eric.

--Ride horses in the Colorado Rockies in the fall when the aspen turn yellow.

--Visit the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY with Sarah and son Andrew and Kristen, who are fan-atics.

--Attend the Christmas Mass led by the Pope in St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome on Christmas Eve. I’m not Catholic, but I’ve watched this spectacle for years while Sarah placed the kids’ presents around the tree downstairs. It’s quite an interesting service re the history of the Church and Christian teaching. I’d take Sarah and our son Adam and Morgan; Adam’s begun his own tradition of late night Christmas Eve viewing.

--Attend the Olympics, summer or winter, anywhere.

--Go on safari in Kenya or other African nation.

--Take Sarah and our daughter Elizabeth and Joe to NYC where Elizabeth spent a portion of her youth.

--Bicycle Ireland for a week or two with a group of cyclers. We’ve already done this, but I’d do it again in a second.

--Travel the Oregon Trail from Independence, Missouri to the Willamette Valley in Oregon.

--Write the Great American Novel or my Magnum Opus, whichever.

This list evolves as I evolve. A few years ago one item would have been attending a national political party convention. Now I’d find that interesting but wouldn’t strain myself to get there. Is this new perspective progress or regress? Depends on whether you believe in evolution, I guess.

So what’s on your Bucket List?

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 28 December 2010

Part of me has never liked what happens during the 52^nd week of the year. It’s a great time, the holiday season, family and friends, time off, bowl games, special worship services, gift giving. What’s not to like? Nothing. I like and appreciate all of this.

What I don’t like is the huge transition in “tone,” especially on television, that takes place after Christmas leading to New Year’s Eve. Christmas carols disappear from radio stations, stores, and inexplicably, church services. People shift gears from the season of peace to the season of parties. Of a sudden, life is no longer about the spirit of giving, about peace on earth goodwill toward men. It’s about the spirit of hammering oneself into oblivion. It’s about partying all night, going gonzo, and living life to excess.

I don’t think I exaggerate. Simply watch the New Year’s Eve television programs. What are they about?

I get weary of the barrage of media content suggesting drinking is the greatest and grandest thing I can do with my time ringing in the New Year. I’m not against all drinking. I don’t attack the idea or people who take a drink. I do take umbrage with the idea that drinking to excess, drunkenness, or hard partying is somehow a good, wise, or even enjoyable activity.

Excessive drinking isn’t the only thing to which we’re treated in this week’s shift to a secular worldview. We also get even more let it loose sexuality than usual. That’s so obvious I’ll leave it at that.

Because others go secular, of course, doesn’t mean we have to do so. And we don’t. Our time, like many others, is spent with family and friends, enjoying them and all God has bestowed. It’s a good week…if you turn off the TV.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 28 December 2010

For about 25 years now, maybe longer, I’ve used this week between Christmas and New Year’s as a time to write long hand, yellow-pad notes to people who’ve made a particular impact upon my life in the past year. Not a lot of them, actually maybe just four or five, or on a big year as many as seven. These notes or short letters are my way of expressing thanks and touching people who’ve touched me.

I know other people do this because I’ve heard them mention it or seen their Christmas letters. But most of the ones I’ve seen are more generic, sent to one and all. Nothing wrong with this.

I’m talking about personalized notes to selected individuals who’ve done something, modeled something, been a listening ear, or simply “been there” in some way that made a difference in my life, family, and/or career.

Writing gratitude notes to people during New Year’s Week has been a good habit for a number of reasons.

First, it makes me take stock. The practice forces me to remember people and actions in detail and recall why they might have been important. It reminds me that I didn’t do as well or accomplish as much or live as well on my own as a quick glance might lead me to think.

Second, this practice requires me to put into words how the people or their actions affected me and to put into words my expression of gratitude. It makes me articulate what up till now may have gone unsaid.

Third, it allows me to see how God has worked in my life and family in the past year, using people to bless or direct us. It helps me see how God has corralled me or used others to remind me what’s really important.

Fourth, it’s a good reminder of which individuals built into my life and who, if I am wise, I’ll maintain contact with, listen to, and seek to return the blessing.

I share this habit as a recommendation. It’s a practice that’s probably blessed me more than it’s blessed anyone who received the snail-mail note.

I need to get out of this blog now. I’ve got gratitude notes to write.