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Written by: Rex M. Rogers

Published: 12 April 2022

Have you ever met someone who hasn’t forgiven another person who’s been dead for 15 years? Unforgiveness is rampant in the human experience, and in the Church.

Hi, I’m Rex Rogers and this is episode #18 of Discerning What Is Best, a podcast applying unchanging biblical principles in a rapidly changing world, and a Christian worldview to current issues and everyday life.

Your son steals the family car and eventually calls three weeks later from three states away. Your spouse has been unfaithful. Your pastor absconds with several thousand dollars of your church’s funds. You are the focus of a slanderous attack that undermines your reputation. Your business partner finds some way to cheat you, legally, and walks away with your investment. Someone abused you in terrible ways. Your father or mother have been gone for decades, but you’re still haunted by the memory of how one or both wronged you.

The “normal” response pattern to all these circumstances might include disbelief, hurt, anger, bitterness, and maybe vengeance. Some people might even argue that such emotions are justifiable and understandable. Some claim that certain acts perpetrated against us are forever unforgiveable.

People expect a certain amount of “righteous anger.” It’s a part of our American code of individualistic ethics. Kill or be killed. Hallowed self-defense. John Wayne rides again.

But I’ve got to believe that most of us are not very good at separating “righteous anger” from unrighteous, carnal wrath. That’s why forgiveness seems like an even more unlikely response. At least with anger, righteous or otherwise, you get the satisfaction of directing your feelings toward the offender. With forgiveness you don’t even get that. You let go and walk away.

Actually, forgiveness is a rather un-human thing to do. Think about it. Forgiveness goes against the grain. If someone hurts us, why should you forgive them? What’s in it for us? Forgiveness isn’t the typically human response.

Forgiving seems too much like yielding. It smacks of injustice and weakness. It’s almost as if we’re allowing for some legitimacy in the offender’s actions.  Besides, if we want to be religious about it, doesn’t the Old Testament say, “an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth”? Shouldn’t we retaliate? Can’t we all think of a couple of people whose teeth we’d like to knock out?

You see, forgiveness really is un-human. Forgiveness does not fit our human psyche. It’s not natural.

But then again, who said we should be natural? Being natural means that we’re following the nature we were born with and that, according to Scripture, is an evil nature, a heart that is deceitful and wicked (Jer. 17:9).  

My wife and I did not teach any of our four children (now adults) to lie, but they all did sooner or later. We didn’t teach them to cheat, but they did that too. They did what comes natural. They sinned. I’ve done the same things and more.  I’ve let the “natural man” control my heart and my response.

Yet we should not want to do what comes “natural.” We should be interested in the supernatural. We should allow the Spirit of God to work in our hearts to redeem the natural and make us useful for his service in the here and now. It’s only through submission to the Lord that we can do the “un-human” thing and forgive those who hurt us.

If forgiveness is un-human, unforgiveness is inhuman. Unforgiveness eats away at the spirit of the unforgiver and sometimes the unforgiven.

We describe torture, cruelty, and vicious violence as inhuman. We detest “man’s inhumanity to man” as evidenced in slavery, killing, genocide, or unlawful capture and detainment. Inhuman action is hurtful, destructive action.

Unforgiveness is inhuman because it hurts us, you or me. Unforgiveness binds and restricts. It chokes and destroys. It cruelly works emotional and spiritual violence on the soul.

Unforgiveness is to the spirit what disease is to the physical body. Unforgiveness debilitates, slowly and steadily. It begins to determine what we do and who we are.  

Unforgiveness captures our future.  

But unforgiveness has a remedy. We don’t have to live in spiritual and emotional ill health. Forgiveness is the remedy that frees us from the bondage of sin. Life, liberty and joy are ours to embrace.

This podcast is about Discerning What Is Best. If you find this thought-provoking and helpful, follow us on your favorite podcast platform. Download an episode for your friends.

Our ability as Christians to forgive others is rooted entirely in the fact that God through Christ has already forgiven us. Through Christ’s shed blood we enjoy redemption, the forgiveness of sin (Col. 1:14). We are “free from” sin and “free to be” what God wants us to be.

I conclude every podcast with the powerful biblical statement, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Gal. 5:1).  

The fact of God’s forgiveness literally gives us a new lease on life.

Think with me about the ways that God’s forgiveness liberates us.   

1. Forgiveness frees us from rendering vengeance.

When we forgive, we leave vengeance and justice to the Lord (Rom. 12:17-21).  We don’t have to become buddies with the one who hurt us, but we don’t need to retaliate either. God will bring all things to account. 

2. Forgiveness frees us from possibly thwarting God’s purposes.

Forgiveness frees us to acknowledge the sovereignty of God even in the hurtful things he allows to come into our lives. Esau eventually forgave Jacob for stealing his birthright, and Joseph forgave his brothers for their treachery in selling him into slavery. At the time of the offense, none of them knew that what some meant for evil, God meant for good.  

3. Forgiveness frees us to testify to God’s love.

Jesus forgave the wicked woman at the well, he forgave the Christian-killer Saul who became the Apostle Paul, and he forgave me. When we forgive others, contrary to human nature, we are a testimony of the grace of God.  People simply cannot understand it.

In October 2006, people worldwide were amazed when Amish families forgave the man who shot ten and killed five young girls in a Nickel Mines, Pennsylvania schoolhouse, then killed himself. The families then attended his burial, hugged his widow, and donated money to her and the man’s three children, victims all.  How could the Amish families do this?

In December 2014, an 11-year-old Iraqi girl, Myriam, was interviewed by Essam Nagy of Christian channel SAT-7 KIDS. In the video that eventually went globally viral and was reported on news agencies in multiple languages, she says she forgave ISIS for what they did to her hometown of Qaraqosh, Iraq, driving she and her Christian family from their home, killing others, and destroying the community. How could she do this?  

In February 2015, ISIS theatrically beheaded 21 Christian men on a Libyan beach.  Later, one man’s brother, and a mother of two of the men and mother-in-law to another, called the Christian channel SAT-7 to express forgiveness of the ISIS men, praying for their salvation. How could these aggrieved families do this?

Forgiveness is a supreme act of spiritual maturity. It is only possible in those who have grown in Christ to a point where his grace overwhelms their (our) grudges. 

    4.  Forgiveness frees us to be blessed by our own acts of mercy.

Ironically, showing mercy to another person is a selfless act that is ultimately in our self-interest.Solomon told us that a gracious woman retains honor and a merciful man does good to his own soul (Prov. 11:16-17). When we are merciful, longsuffering, and forgiving, we allow God’s grace to be shed on both the forgiver and the forgivee. 

Forgiveness liberates. It’s like unhooking a ball and chain from around our necks. Forgiveness frees us to enjoy the Christian life as God intended.  

Jesus told his disciples to forgive unto seventy times seven (Matt. 18:21-22). In other words, our capacity to forgive should know no limits. Forgiving is not an option.  It is a biblical mandate. We must forgive even if the offender is 100% wrong and even if the offenses occurred repeatedly.  

Unforgiveness is a rather common part of the human condition. It’s all around us. Sometimes it’s within us.

I’ve long thought that unforgiveness is the number one sin in the Christian Church, though I cannot prove this.

Forgiveness on the other hand is all too rare, which makes it special, a light in a darkened world. Forgiveness is a way for Christians to let the Son shine in.

Well, we’ll see you again soon. For more Christian commentary, be sure to subscribe to this podcast, Discerning What Is Best, or check my website, r-e-x-m as in Martin, that’s rexmrogers.com. And remember, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm.

© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2022   

*This podcast blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact me or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com/, or connect with me at www.linkedin.com/in/rexmrogers.  

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Written by: Rex M. Rogers

Published: 16 March 2022

Have you ever been betrayed? I mean you discovered your trust had been misplaced and the hurt is real? Betrayal is sadly a part of life in a sinful world, but the Lord did not leave us without perspective and support.

Hi, I’m Rex Rogers and this is episode #14 of Discerning What Is Best, a podcast applying unchanging biblical principles in a rapidly changing world, and a Christian worldview to current issues and everyday life.

A few years ago, I visited the Richard Nixon Presidential Library and Museum, and I was glad for the opportunity. It brought back a lot of memories.

When Richard Milhous Nixon was re-elected in 1972, I was a 20-year-old college student studying political science. I was thoroughly into the issues and the campaign, and Nixon became the first president I excitedly voted for. He was “my president” in the same way the college students who campaigned for President Barak Obama will forever feel a special attachment to him.

Later, as I walked to my car, I realized I felt down and a little twisted inside, and I thought, what’s this? Then it hit me. I felt betrayed, even a little angry.

The politics of Nixon’s second term had turned quickly to Watergate chaos.  “What did he know and when did he know it?” In a painful few months Nixon’s presidency collapsed under the weight of malfeasance and an unexplained 18½ minute gap in a White House audio tape.  

August 8, 1974, Richard Nixon announced his resignation. August 9, 1974, Nixon resigned, and Gerald R. Ford was sworn into office. August 10, 1974, Sarah and I got married. It was an eventful week.

It’s been over 40 years but viewing Nixon’s gravestone rekindled emotions I didn’t know remained. I’d been energized by this man’s leadership. I’d agreed with a measure of his policy perspectives, but he’d fooled me, Billy Graham, and many others. 

Nixon squandered enormous political talent and experience. His personal character was exposed and didn’t match his public persona. He cheated to win re-election. He covered up. He lied. He did this to his country. He did this to me. 

I felt betrayed because I’d put my trust in his leadership. 

This podcast is about Discerning What Is Best. If you find this thought-provoking and helpful, follow us on your favorite podcast platform. Download an episode for your friends.

I’ve also felt betrayed a few times in more personal ways than a distant president. I’m guessing you have too. It’s more realistic than cynical to say that if you live long enough someone will eventually trade on your trust. 

And then there’s our behavior toward others. I don’t like to think that I may have betrayed someone, but as a sinner saved by grace, who’s still a sinner, I probably have.      

Betrayal comes in many forms. Maybe in your workplace: people you trusted said things publicly about you that you later heard and could scarcely believe. People close to you, or so you thought, stayed faithful while they worked for or with you but verbally kicked you on the way out the company door. People were your friends as long as they got something out of the transaction; when circumstances changed, they stabbed you in the back.  People lied about what really happened, or worse, they lied about you and assassinated your character. People you helped gain their positions used their newfound empowerment to undermine you.     

By the way, criticism and betrayal are not synonymous, particularly if you hold a leadership position. Criticism rightly given and rightly received, iron sharpening iron, makes us better, stronger. Criticism seeks to help. Betrayal seeks to harm.     

Maybe your company leaders betrayed the trust of thousands of employees, of which you are one, and now your pension fund or your investments are diminished or gone.  

Maybe a spouse you loved was unfaithful.      

And, of course, there are many more ways in which people betray people.  Human beings are infinitely creative, so they keep inventing new ways to betray. It’s one of the sins of the human race that began when Cain betrayed Abel, and it’s not going to go away this side of heaven. It’s not fun and in fact it can hurt deeply. 

Given the sin nature in all of us, betrayal, or the experience of being betrayed, is probably unavoidable. Betrayal comes to us all. So now what?       

We have a choice on how we respond to betrayal. We can retaliate, hitting back in some tangible way that attempts to hurt others who’ve hurt us. We can seek revenge (kidding ourselves that it’s justice we’re after). We can contract for legal redress (I recognize that such remedies may at times be biblically justifiable, but I’d recommend mediation or arbitration before pursuing lawsuits as a last resort). We can dissolve into bitter recrimination.  

Or we can look to the Lord for another way toward resolution that may or may not ultimately result in reconciliation. The Bible tells us how.      

1-Pray. James 5:13 - “Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray.” My Mother used to tell me this. I’d come home from school with some story of what an evildoer had done to me and she’d say, “Have you prayed for him?” I didn’t want to pray for him. I wanted to punch him. But I did discover that one cannot pray sincerely for someone and continue ill feelings in your heart. The Spirit takes over, changing our feelings if not the circumstances and directing our response toward life.     

2-Never respond in kind. James 4:11 - “Brothers, do not slander one another.” Never put in print what you’ll be ashamed of later. Print possesses a shelf-life longer than your life. Cyberspace magnifies your responses even broader and faster, potentially to billions. Besides, vitriolic responses are about hurting, not healing.      

3-Never over-react. Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This too shall pass. It’s amazing how different personal battles appear from the vantage point of time. Not long ago I spoke with a man with whom I’d battled a few times. He and I were just different, and it came out, not in things we’re ashamed we said but in periodic friction. Funny thing was, when we talked, neither of us could remember the substance of the issues involved. All we could remember is that we used to butt heads and now we wondered why.     

4-Never seek vengeance. Romans 12: 17-19 - “Do not repay anyone evil for evil…If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge…I will repay, says the Lord.” Turning the other cheek may be one of the more difficult things we’re called upon to do in our lives. God is sovereign. He knows. He’ll make things right in his good time.          

5-Forgive. Colossians 3:13 - “Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Responding to betrayal with forgiveness brings resolution to us even if the other person(s) never change or are never open to reconciliation. Forgiveness is not only right; it’s a release. It literally liberates us. What mattered no longer matters. When we forgive, we don’t work to make the offending parties “admit” or “apologize.” We don’t work to “win.” We simply ask the Lord to enable us to forgive when it’s beyond our ability to do so. And he does.    

6-Bless and be at peace with them. Romans 12:14, 16 - “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse…Live in harmony with one another.” No one’s ever been betrayed like Jesus. Judas used his three-year relationship to identify Jesus with a kiss and betrayed the Savior for 30 pieces of silver. Peter denied Jesus three times. The Disciples deserted him.

Yet Jesus loved them all, even calling Judas “Friend,” and he continued in the Father’s mission to sacrifice the Son to make forgiveness and reconciliation possible.     

I know that responding to betrayal with forgiveness is not the natural thing to do. But that’s the point. Christians aren’t supposed to be natural, but spiritual.       

Jesus is the only one who can enable us to overcome betrayal.    

Well, we’ll see you again soon. For more Christian commentary, be sure to subscribe to this podcast, Discerning What Is Best, or check my website, r-e-x-m as in Martin, that’s rexmrogers.com. And remember, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm.

© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2022   

*This podcast blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact me or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com/, or connect with me at www.linkedin.com/in/rexmrogers.  

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Written by: Rex M. Rogers

Published: 29 September 2020

Today, to say someone engaged in questionable behavior is involved in something wrong, or worse, sin, can mean you are quickly labeled uncompassionate, judgmental, intolerant, bigot, or hater.

This can include alcohol and substance abuse, promiscuity and a now infinite array of pansexual proclivities, compulsive gambling, even anger management and more. 

The alternative view is these addictive behaviors are defined not as sin but as illness, a disease. Of course, the point here is that if these behavioral choices are a disease, you are not responsible. 

The problem with this view is that it offers no fix, no “out.” If one has a deadly disease, there’s nothing you can do. There’s no hope.

Calling wrong moral choices sin, as God did, sounds harsh, but it can be the beginning of repentance, reconciliation, and restoration. 

The Apostle Paul once called himself the “chief” or “worst” of sinners. But in the same verse he said, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” (1 Tim. 1:15).

Samson rebelled, and God answered his prayer for strength one last time. 

Jonah rebelled and from the belly of a great fish God heard him. 

David committed murder and adultery, and God forgave him.

There is nothing in which we can get involved, no depth to which we can sink, no addictive behavior, no immorality or brokenness, no sin so awful, that we are beyond the reach of the Holy Spirit of God. 

The old hymn lyrics said it all: 

“Grace, grace, God’s grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin!”

© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2020    

*This blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact me or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com/, or connect with me at www.linkedin.com/in/rexmrogers.    

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Written by: Rex M. Rogers

Published: 31 August 2020

When I was a kid in Sunday School, we used to sing the chorus from the book of Nehemiah, “The joy of the Lord is my strength. Oh, the joy of the Lord is my strength.”

The Bible says, “Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2).

Trials like COVID-19, social unrest, hurricanes, rancorous politics, economic slowdowns, wildfires.

Sorrow, pain, fear, disappointment, discouragement or depression?  Joy in the face of this?

Yeah, right. I can’t do that.

But that’s the point. We can’t do that, not on our own. We need the Lord to deal with God-sized trials.

The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on him” (1 Pet. 5:7), and “find grace to help us in our time of need” (Heb. 4:16). 

Then there’s this promise:

“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph. 3:17).

One fruit of the Spirit is joy. God’s joy in us becomes our joy in him.

How do we survive and thrive even in the midst of trials? 

The joy of the Lord is our strength (Neh. 8:10).

© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2020    

*This blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact me or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com/, or connect with me at www.linkedin.com/in/rexmrogers.    

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Written by: Rex M. Rogers

Published: 04 October 2017

If you're feeling the need for humility, 1) Google your name; 2) search your name on LinkedIn...You are not as singular or unique as you think you are, at least not based upon your name. 

However: "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows" (Matt. 10:29-31). 

Actually, you are unique. Not very unique or really unique, just U-nique.

© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2017   

*This blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact Rex or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com.