Have you ever known a person so disagreeable, so problematic, so toxic you just walked away, never—you hope—to deal with them again?
Hi, I’m Rex Rogers and this is episode #253 of Discerning What Is Best, a podcast applying unchanging biblical principles in a rapidly changing world, and a Christian worldview to current issues and everyday life.
If you live long enough, sooner or later—actually, probably sooner—you will meet someone so disreputable that you just give up on them? You conclude there is no possible future in which things work out and you at least can get along with this person, and they bring considerable angst to your life, so you decide to disengage, to walk away forever.
I realize this kind of scenario may occur in any number of ways. I’ve thankfully never been involved in the dissolution of a marriage. So, I do not know what it’s like, except via friends’ comments or watching on television, but I’m reasonably certain relationships can deteriorate to the point where one spouse considers the other obnoxious, evil, maybe dangerous, so it seems the best or only decision is to get away.
I know families, friends, work associates, acquaintances, all manner of human interactions can become so pernicious, so noxious that the only way to avoid ongoing agitation or worse is to sever all communications and contact. So, metaphorically or physically, you give up on this person ever changing, ever asking for forgiveness, ever working and playing well with others, and you walk away.
As memory serves, I think I have only met and knew well one or two people like this in my now three score and ten plus years. One was a work colleague, a person I discovered worked with questionable if not objectionable ethics, a person who was selfish, demanding, nasty, and intimidating to anyone who fell for his schtick.
At first, I pushed back, which was probably a mistake, because he just amped up his repugnant nature and behavior. Later, I learned to stay out of the way as best I could, and meanwhile I made the decision to move on asap, which the Lord graciously granted me.
This is a person so bad—I know this is a relative term, because this guy wasn’t immoral and didn’t murder people—but he was a disgusting individual, nevertheless. So, after I moved on, I moved on, I must confess I did not care if I ever saw this person again. Didn’t want to see him, ever. But hey, it’s not that big a town, so I knew that sometime, somewhere I bump into him, and of course I did, at least twice. Thankfully, long before this I’d prayed, asking the Lord to grant me grace and propriety when someday I’d see this guy. Praise God, when I finally saw him out and about, we said a polite “Hello,” gave a nod, and got on with our business elsewhere.
I confess this story to no honor on my part. Certainly, I was not faultless in the relationship of sorts I had with this guy. But I am glad I learned I could move on, glad God gave me the opportunity to walk away, and glad when I saw this fellow one day, it really didn’t matter much.
Now again, I know this simple tale and modus operandi won’t work in all situations for all people, and again, like for example divorced “Exes” who still must interact regarding children. I know you can’t walk away, but I do think there are ways we can enjoy the Lord’s gentleness, goodness, and generosity toward others who may lack courtesy, civility, and self-control.
Jesus is remembered for compassion and pursuit of sinners, but the Gospels also show something equally important: Jesus sometimes deliberately stopped pursuing people and walked away. This helps us understand that love does not always mean continued relational investment.
1. Jesus walked away when people rejected his teaching.
After the Bread of Life discourse, many followers abandoned him after difficult teaching: “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him...” (John 6:66). Jesus did not soften the message, chase them, or renegotiate truth. Instead, he turned to the Twelve and asked: “Do you want to go away as well?” Jesus allowed people to leave rather than dilute truth to preserve relationship.
2. Jesus walked away from hostile crowds.
“So, they picked up stones to throw at him, but Jesus hid himself and went out of the temple,” (John 8:59). Also, he escaped arrest and withdrew beyond the Jordan.
He did not remain to endlessly argue with those determined to harm him. So, we learn that withdrawal from escalating hostility can be wise, not faithless.
3. Jesus left towns that refused him.
A Samaritan village rejected him, “But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem.” (Luke 9:53). The disciples wanted judgment, but Jesus simply moved on. Likewise, he instructed disciples to shake dust off their feet (Matt. 10). It is better to redirect our life and ministry than prolong conflict.
4. Jesus refused to entrust himself to certain people.
“But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people,” (Jn. 2:24). People admired Him superficially, yet he withheld relational trust. Love does not require emotional or relational access. Boundaries can be Christlike.
5. Jesus ended conversations with hardened opponents.
With certain religious leaders, discussion reached an endpoint. Repeated confrontations with Pharisees culminate in Gospel of Matt 23, where Jesus pronounces woes and then departs the temple (24:1). Dialogue ceased; separation followed. When hearts are closed, continued debate may no longer serve truth.
6. Jesus did not pursue Herod.
When brought before Herod Antipas: “So he questioned him at some length, but he made no answer,” (Luke 23:9). Jesus offered silence, not engagement. Not every person must receive an explanation or relational effort.
7. Jesus let the rich young ruler walk away.
After the man refused costly obedience: “When the young man heard this, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions,” (Matt. 19:22). Mark adds: “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Yet Jesus did not run after him lowering the demand. Point is, we may deeply love someone and still allow them to leave.
8. Jesus ultimately left Jerusalem to its choice.
“O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you desolate,” (Matt. 23:37-38).
Jesus never forced anyone to follow or choose him. You may not recognize it in these accounts, but what you are seeing is what today we call religious liberty.
Freedom of belief, worship, and religion is a biblically Christian idea. The First Amendment of the US Constitution has its roots in biblical Christianity.
Jesus walked away when truth was persistently rejected, motives were manipulative or hostile, safety or mission required withdrawal, relationship lacked genuine openness, continued engagement enabled hardness. Jesus pursued the willing.
He released the unwilling. Walking away in Scripture is not hatred — it is recognizing moral freedom and relational limits.
Here are the main biblical categories where God permits — or even instructs — stepping away from someone or ending relational pursuit.
1. When someone persistently rejects truth or peace.
2. When peace is continually refused.
3. When someone is divisive or chronically disruptive.
5. When influence corrupts your spiritual life.
6. When reconciliation is repeatedly rejected.
Scripture holds two truths simultaneously: Keep forgiving – seek reconciliation – love enemies, but also: Do not enable sin – do not chase endless hostility - do not sacrifice spiritual health.
Determining whether or when to give up on someone—to walk away—is a matter of your Christian maturity and spiritual discernment. There are many stories wherein faithful – never, never, never give up – grandmothers or aunts prayed fervently for wayward young relatives for years. Or the parable in Scripture about the Prodigal Son wherein his father never gave up, and when his son finally returned seeking forgiveness and restoration, the father eagerly responded in grace and joy.
So, whether or when you give up or walk away is between you and the Lord. But there is guidance in the Word. And by the way, when it is necessary to walk away from a person, remember he or she is still not alone. God knows exactly who they are, where they are, and what they need.
Well, we’ll see you again soon. This podcast is about Discerning What Is Best.
If you find this thought-provoking and helpful, follow us on your favorite podcast platform. For more Christian commentary, see my website, r-e-x-m as in Martin, that’s rexmrogers.com, or check my YouTube channel @DrRexRogers.
And remember, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm.
© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2026
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