Seeing A Friend In A Casket
Expired- Details
- Written by: Rex M. Rogers
Seeing a friend in a casket is a sad and sobering experience. Feelings especially true when the friend died suddenly, without warning and yet young. “Viewing” provides “closure,” the experts say, and the practice provides an occasion to express support and sympathy to members of your friend’s family. But it’s not fun, and only in cases when the deceased has left a life of suffering do we consider this time a relief.
People sometimes misinterpret the Christian theology of death. Some of them think Christians are pretty sanguine when it comes to death. Not usually. Christians are as bothered by death as anyone else.
God never told us we had to like death, only that we need not fear it. Death is still a separation, even from a person we know is now with the Lord. Death is still a transition. It’s an absence. It removes from our daily lives people we care about. So we feel the loss and we don’t like it.
Nor do we have to like death. It’s OK to grieve.
But Christians have hope, so we do not and should not grieve as those who have no hope. We know the end of the story and we know the Author of the story. We don’t just believe. We know God is still in charge, is not surprised by death, and is still a God of love. We know Christ has already defeated sin and its result—death—on the cross and in his resurrection. Our hope built upon certainty.
Christians do sometimes deal with death differently, so maybe that’s where the idea came from that we’re not bothered by death. For example, while there’s nothing wrong with wearing black to a funeral it isn’t really a Christian M.O. I know that’s what’s always shown in movies, especially funerals in New York City, but wearing black is more about tradition than Christianity. Christians mourn, but they recognize that it’s one thing to mourn and another thing to be morose. Sometimes Christians want to wear their hope in brightly colored clothing. It’s possible to do so while respecting the deceased. But again, there’s nothing wrong with wearing black either. It’s our knowledge and attitude that count for more.
Christians also sometimes conduct funerals that come off like celebrations. This is especially true when the deceased friend or family member has lived a long, full, and godly life. His or her time has come. He or she is spiritually and emotionally ready to meet the Lord, ready to go, ready to renew bonds with loved ones gone before. Such funerals are promotions. I recently attended a funeral for an 80-something friend that was all of that. Remembering him and his life was “fun,” if you can use that word at a funeral. He would have been much pleased, and we know he’s in heaven.
The most difficult experience is the funeral of a friend who, as far as you know, never placed his or her faith in Christ. How do you remain hopeful in this instance? You literally mourn his or her loss and you pray for, focus on, and invest in the loved ones left behind. Would to God that he awakens them and grants them a peace that passes understanding.
So, No, I don’t like seeing a friend in a casket.
© Rex M. Rogers – All Rights Reserved, 2010
This blog may be reproduce in whole or in part but must include a full attribution statement. Contact Dr. Rogers or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com or follow him at www.twitter.com/rexmrogers.
- Details
- Written by: Rex M. Rogers
President Gerald R. Ford’s funeral took place at Grace Episcopal Church in Grand Rapids yesterday afternoon. My wife, Sarah, and I were among about 400 individuals who were privileged to attend the service, one I consider both an historic and a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
We arrived at a nearby gated and guarded church parking lot about forty-five minutes before the first shuttle bus to Grace Episcopal was schedule at 11:30 am. Eventually we were taken along with other passengers in the first bus to travel to the church, where we walked to a downstairs room used as a staging area for funeral service attendees. With other guests we enjoyed coffee, tea, or water, and assorted cookies in what amounted to a two hour reception before we were directed upstairs to our seats.
Michigan Senators Carl Levin and Debbie Stabenow, former Michigan Governor John Engler and incumbent Governor Jennifer Granholm and their spouses, Michigan Secretary of State Terri Land and her husband, and many other political, civic, and corporate leaders were among the guests awaiting seating. Through the church basement windows we glimpsed military personnel forming an honor guard and a military band.
The staging area proved to be a very well-considered part of the plan, for it allowed people to pass the time in conversation, to sit, stand, or walk about, to access nearby restrooms, or to enjoy refreshments. None of this would have been possible if guests had been seated immediately upon arrival for what turned out to be a long wait and a late service start.
The Grace Episcopal Church auditorium is graced with a pipe organ behind the pulpit area in the front of the church and several beautiful stained glass windows illustrating various Christian symbols and biblical stories. The funeral service was administered by the Rector from St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church and School, Palm Desert, California, The Reverend Dr. Robert G. Certain, along with former Grace Episcopal Rector and current Rector, Christ Church, Staten Island, NY, The Reverend Charles H. Howell, Interim Rector at Grace Episcopal, The Reverend Dr. J. Nixon McMillan, and Deacon, Grace Episcopal, The Reverend Katherine Brower.
President Ford’s casket was escorted in and out by a full military honor guard, and the funeral featured a church choir of local voices, singing the prelude, and the United States Army Chorus. Scripture readers included President Ford’s sons, Michael (Psalm 23) and Steven (Romans 8:14-19, 34-35, 37-39) with grandchildren, Sarah Ford Goodfellow, Tyne Vance Berlanga, and Christian Gerald Ford serving as Intercessors.
Proverbs 3:5-6, one of the President’s favorite scripture passages, was printed in the program and was referenced during the service. Hymns included, among others, “All Glory, Laud, and Honor,” “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” “On Eagle’s Wings,” and “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God.” The congregation was led in a unison reading of The Apostles’ Creed.
Tributes were offered by former Secretary of Defense, The Honorable Donald Rumsfeld, former President Jimmy Carter, and former director of the Ford Museum and current director of the Abraham Lincoln Museum, Richard Norton Smith. Dr. Certain offered the Homily. Also in attendance were Vice President Dick Cheney and his wife, Lynn, along with Mrs. Rosalyn Carter.
Mr. Rumsfeld’s comments were interesting and pithy, particularly his observation that President Ford “reminded Americans of who they were.” Mr. Smith’s comments were brilliantly conceived and written and very well presented. As a presidential scholar, he put President Ford’s service in historical perspective, saying the president evidenced “an utter lack of pretense” and that he “was better at statesmanship than salesmanship.” He noted the president’s own self-deprecating joke that he was “charismatically challenged” but then observed that “whatever he lacked in charisma he more than made up for in character.”
In my estimation, President Carter’s presentation was the most moving and engaging part of the service. President Carter’s longtime friendship with President Ford worked to make Mr. Carter’s comments personal, emotional, and spiritually informed. President Carter said that he and Mr. Ford had a lot in common: both served in the Navy, both married “good looking, smart, and very independent women,” and both had three sons, “And then God answered our prayers (pause to laughter). He gave us daughters (more laughter).”
President Carter also said that he and President Ford shared a faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Twice and slowly for emphasis President Carter said, “We are saved by our faith in God through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.” He also observed that President Ford was a man devoted to God, family, and country and that President Ford’s faith had sustained him in the White House. President Carter began and ended his comments by repeating “my first words as President of the United States.” Referring to President Ford in the first sentence of his inaugural address, President Carter said, “For myself and our nation, I want to thank my predecessor for all he did to heal our land.”
The funeral started late and ended late. But no one cared. I think everyone there, from Honorary Pallbearers like Ambassador Peter Secchia, Amway Co-founder Richard DeVos, retail leader Fred Meijer, and golfing great Jack Nicklaus to the last person to leave, all felt privileged to have played some small part in honoring a gentleman politician at his homecoming to Grand Rapids and his homegoing to heaven.
Sarah and I were grateful for the opportunity to attend Mr. Ford’s funeral, and we rejoice in the national media’s focus upon character and principle, for this is not only accurate and fair to the man, Gerald R. Ford, but is a good and appropriate reflection upon Grand Rapids, Michigan. God give us more Jerry Fords.
© Rex M. Rogers - All Rights Reserved, 2007
*This blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact Dr. Rogers or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com or follow him at www.twitter.com/rexmrogers.