Rex M Rogers - Discerning What Is Best

Discerning What Is Best
With Dr Rex Rogers

Two New eBooks at Amazon Kindle!

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 22 February 2011

One of the best things about being in one’s 50s is the chance to get to know your own kids as adults. It’s a truly interesting, sometimes fascinating, experience to sit with your wife across a restaurant table from another person—your son—and his wife. Just couples getting better acquainted. He’s your son, yet he’s an adult with a spouse and it all feels different because it is different.

Your son or daughter, now in his or her 20s or 30s, usually married but maybe single, is in the process of making a whole series of decisions you remember making as a young adult. Profession, jobs, rent or buy, car payments, children, and a host of other home economics. But more than that, philosophic decisions about living “In the World” while “Not of the World,” making their own way in the Christian journey.

I’ve told each of our four, now 20 or 30-somethings with three of four married, “You don’t have to do it the way we (Mom and Dad) did it. You don’t have to answer to me. What you need to do is discuss each decision as a couple, assure the direction you’re going is consistent with the moral will of God, then move forward. Issue is: how does the Lord want you to live your lives?”

While we’re here for them, what they need to do is make their own decisions and make their own way. And they do. Sarah once observed, “We taught our kids to be independent, and they are.” She said this after one of them hadn’t been in contact with home for a while and then made a rather strategic decision or two. OK, not my call.

Another thing that comes along, usually, is daughters-in-law and/or sons-in-law. In our case, two of the former and one of the latter are now part of the family. Very cool indeed to watch your son mellow out when his wife tells him with a look to “Cool it.” For sure, makes me smile. Also more than a little interesting to have another young man around who thinks so differently from the rest of us because his background is rooted in another family.

Now in our 50s there’re also to-date four grandsons. At 8 years of age, the oldest, was born just before I turned 50. So another good thing about being in one’s 50s is the opportunity to get to know, at least in their youth, your grandchildren. Interesting. The three brothers who look sort of like they belong in our family, dark hair and eyes, all have a French last name with a lot of letters. Then the fourth and newest grandson who wears our last name has light hair, blue eyes, and looks like his Mama’s family. Go figure, but fun.

All in all, getting older isn’t so bad.

*This blog may be reproduced in whole or in part with a full attribution statement. Contact Rex or read more commentary on current issues and events at www.rexmrogers.com or follow him at www.twitter.com/RexMRogers.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 22 February 2011

Believe it or not, we have 5 cats, 4 outside and 1 inside. We chose to have 2 cats who before they went to their reward had litters from whence we got 3 of the cats we have now…so you could say we chose 3 but ended up with 5. Confusing, I know, but a typical cat-story.

At various times along the way of family life and raising kids we’ve had dogs, as many as 11 cats one time when two (mentioned above) had simultaneous litters, rabbits, fish, and hamsters.

We never went the bird route, but hey, we like birds. As a matter of fact we like all animals, so we enjoy the deer, pheasant, rabbits, turkeys, squirrels, chipmunks, opossum, raccoons, and more that frequent our yard in all seasons.

I grew up in a small town five minutes from Grandpa’s farm. So big farm animals and all that went with them was part of my youth. Animal husbandry, therefore, is something with which we’re familiar. And from at least an intellectual point of view, so is conservation, hunting and animal rights, and use of animals in research. No matter how you slice it, we’re “animal people.”

This cat-story, though, focuses upon the “inside cat.” Her name is Abby, she’s probably about 5 years old, and she’s from California. She first came to the Rogers clan via our son, who acquired Abby from a local shelter in Pasadena as a gift for his wife. Abby lived happily in their home, moved from CA back to MI, and then came to our house with them when they transitioned from an apartment to their first home. Meanwhile, baby is on the way, so our son and his wife decided they didn’t want to take Abby into their new home to be around their newborn. Now you know how Abby came to reside at our place.

Abby is the most social animal I’ve ever known. If you let her, which my wife does and I don’t, she’ll climb onto your lap at all times in all places. She’ll climb onto your laptop keyboard. She’ll walk on you in the bed at night, if you let her, which I don’t. When my wife’s gone for a few days and I return to an empty house except for Abby, she’ll meow for an hour or more, upset from lack of companionship.

All in all, if you like cats, Abby’s about as nice as they come, even though two cat-isms drive me crazy. Abby sheds and periodically sharpens her claws on the back of the furniture, even though she has a scratching post.

So a couple of months ago we investigated getting her declawed. The cost was not an issue, but the more I read online about this procedure the more I didn’t like it, the more I realized how invasive it was to the cat—not like us clipping our fingernails, but painful, possibly injurious long-term, and most of all, permanently removing something that makes a cat a cat. We opted to put up with periodic scratching behavior rather than declaw our cat.

Since then I’ve read more about declawing cats and an even more invasive procedure, devocalizing dogs. These practices are part of modern urban life.

The ASPCA opposes declawing, debarking, and a host of other physical tweaks people make on their pets. Yet some 60% of pet owners, including 55% of cat owners, say declawing is OK, while only 8% say debarking a dog is OK. Another 47% favor making debarking illegal but 44% do not agree. So on the whole, Americans are fairly open to declawing cats but pretty negative on devocalizing dogs. I can’t go with either.

I’m not against all forms of physical interventions with animals. Having been close to the farm I know that horns are cut from cattle primarily for the safety of human beings working around them. Now we have polled breeds wherein horns have literally been bred out of the line. Sometimes cattle’s ears are cropped for identification. And then there’s the old practice of branding. Birds' wings are sometimes clipped to prevent them from flying away. In urban areas and beyond we’re being encouraged, and many are doing it, to have tiny computer identification chips surgically placed in pets, especially dogs. Even bobbing some dog breeds’ tails is considered appropriate.

I am not suggesting everyone who chooses to intervene physically with their animals violates some principle of animal husbandry. Nor am I saying that a person who physically alters his or her pet is ipso facto a person of moral disrepute. I’m simply calling attention to the fact that such a decision should be made carefully with due consideration to genuine need and the well being of the animal.

I must say, though, that declawing and debarking seem to me to be more about human convenience than about protecting the animal, making its life better, or even securing protective identification. Both surgeries can apparently be successful and seemingly not hurtful to the animal long-term. But there’s much evidence that both surgeries can also cause considerable discomfort, illness, and death in the animal. When you opt for declawing or debarking you really don’t know what will happen to your animal.

For us these latter possibilities weren’t worth the risk. We decided we’d rather have a cat that’s a cat, whole and well, and enjoy and/or tolerate her cat behavior. It’s why after all we have a cat.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 18 February 2011

We shook our heads when Greeks rioted in the streets last year protesting government budget actions. Now it’s our turn. Thousands gathered at the capitol in Madison, Wisconsin this week to demonstrate their opposition to a Governor-led move to address the state’s budgetary woes.

In Washington, D.C. things aren’t any better—budget deficit, $14 trillion national debt, runaway entitlements. Instead of steady, courageous leadership, we get mostly partisan infighting.

The Greatest Generation became the greatest in part because of how it—or should we say they—weathered world war, but before that, how they weathered the Great Depression of their youth. They stepped up, stood tall, sacrificed, and walked through their troubles with a strength we still benefit from today.

Since 2008, our economic problems have been called the Great Recession. Whatever name we give it, it’s real, extensive, and not going away soon or without sacrifice. We’ve made our bed and now we have to sleep in it.

But the jury’s out on whether our generation will rise to the occasion. And that’s the point: do we have the necessary resolve to deal with our self-generated budget woes?

We’ve lived way beyond our means, mortgaging our children’s future and our culture, and maybe our country. Yet so far, we’ve heard more talk than seen action. Everyone wants someone else’s ox to be gored. There’s yet no spirit of self-sacrifice or “We’re all in this together.” Not to pick unfairly upon the good government workers of Wisconsin, but it is difficult to take some of their ire seriously when what they’ve been offered is still substantially better than the average and must be paid for by the rest of the citizens of that beautiful state.

I don’t like to think that what we’ve seen in Greece, Great Britain, and France in response to budget cuts—volatile and at times violent demonstrations—will happen here. But I am afraid that they will because our culture isn’t as strong as it appears. We’re not our grandparents. Yet I hope that I’m wrong.

We need statesmen and women strong enough to lead the way even as they endure the inevitable bile. It remains to be seen if they emerge and it remains to be seen whether we will both produce and support them.

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 18 February 2011

Years ago I asked a 95 year-old gentleman in Iowa, “Who is the first president you can remember?” To my surprise he said, “Woodrow Wilson, I saw him when I was just a kid. He was riding across country on a train and stopped in Des Moines.” Amazing.

Since that time I’ve asked this question whenever I find myself with a person in their 90s or especially over 100 years. One older man remembered Hoover, another one “Silent Cal.”

It’s fun because it always triggers smiles, memories they thought they’d lost, and some pretty interesting responses. Usually they say more than just the name of the president. They talk about other things that come to mind from the same era. If they’re old enough, folks remember the first time they saw a car or rode in one.

Presidents’ terms are like that. They mark the progress of our lives and the direction of our country. People will say, “I haven’t weighed that much since the Carter Administration,” or, “I was in college during the Nixon Administration,” something like that.

Presidents’ voices are remembered too. We hear them so often in the course of four or eight years, and thereafter, that those voices are indelibly etched in our brains if not our psyche.

The first president I can remember is Dwight D. Eisenhower. I was in the 2^nd Grade and can still see him in my minds eye on black and white television. I remember hearing Truman’s voice, and of course Ike’s, but Truman left office when I was just months old.

Who is the first president you can remember, and what other memories does the question, the president, or the time bring to mind?

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 18 February 2011

For years I never watched movies more than once. Doing so just didn’t appeal. Then I changed. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it has something to do with so few films, despite the overwhelming number of choices available, that are actually good?

At any rate, now I like to watch certain movies again and again. I know the dialogue, can quote the best lines, and revel in the most compelling scenes. I’m not talking about critically acclaimed films, just enjoyable ones. In no particular order here’s a short list of movies, at least from my point of view, which are worth watching again and again:

--Groundhog Day (1993).

--Quigley Down Under (1990).

--The Breakfast Club (1985).

--Apollo 13 (1995).

--Shall We Dance? (2004).

--A Christmas Carol (1984).

--Cast Away (2000).

--Crossfire Trail (2001).

--Tombstone (1993).

--Open Range (2003).

Details: Written by Rex M. Rogers; Published: 17 February 2011

I ordered my usual 12 inch tuna on wheat at a nearby Subway. I’ve ordered this sandwich in maybe ten or fifteen states, scores of them, so I know whereof I speak when it comes to Subway tuna sandwiches.

On one earlier occasion I mentioned to the manager that his bread was dry and, thus, not as good. He said it was because they were still learning how to regulate the ovens. OK, makes sense.

Last Friday I purchased a sandwich at the same restaurant. Same result for maybe the fourth or fifth time. Since I’ve eaten this sandwich so many times from so many restaurants I know it can be better.

So this time I spoke again to the same manager, sharing with him in an even, non-agitated voice that his bread wasn’t up to par. To my surprise, he immediately turned to the middle-aged woman making my sandwich and told her in strong terms that she must put the bread inside a cabinet minutes after it's taken from the oven. In other words, he blamed her for my concern, even though my concern referenced a sandwich purchased the previous week. It was not her fault.

Clearly this manager knows little about good leadership, appreciating his personnel, or being mature or professional enough to assume responsibility. Since this Subway (and by the way, I don’t blame the company for this) is relatively near our home I’ll likely return. But if I continue to get dry bread I’m going to speak up again and see what the manager does this time.

What’s interesting about all this is that the “fix” is so simple, so minimal in cost. It just requires a manager who cares about his or her product, customers, and staff.

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